Thursday, April 1, 2010

April 1st, Northern Lights Announces E-Reader

With the iPad, Nook, Kindle & Sony Reader all gaining in popularity and ebook sales increasing four-fold, we at Northern Lights have decided to be on the winning side in the battle of the books. We will no longer be selling physical copies of books.

That's right. Our entire inventory of carefully selected titles with all of their great pictures, interesting covers, pages that we love(d) to turn and smell - all of them are priced (by the publishers) to go! And, for a competitive price, sign up to be the first to have our new e-book reader, the Lazer Gazer. It'll automatically download all of our newsletters and you'll be able to read all the e-books that you purchase from us.

We're so proud of this new e-reader that we're producing. It has yet to go into production, but let us tell you about the features. Firstly, like the Kindle, it allows you to read only content purchased from us - no longer will you have to worry about being able to read content that you purchased anywhere else. You'll be able to put your entire library on this one device, and when it breaks down, you'll be able to buy a whole new library to read on your second generation Lazer Gazer!

Special Northland features: 1. Waterproof- don't let paddling trip stand between you and a good read again! 2. Night-rechargeable - works best with the northern lights, but will regenerate power from the stars and loon calls as well! 3.Will translate stuffy-name-dropping & New York-centric texts to reference fishing spots and hockey players. 4. Vocal Interface - tired? Let the woman from the movie Fargo read the text to you as you rest your eyes! And many more!


Andrew Slade said...

Touche! Almost had me on this one.

Beryl Singleton Bissell said...

I hope this is April Fools and not for real.